I got a letter from Thailand. I post it on web-page.
Ingeniøren
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Bad and good things happen to Isaan (Thailand) women
As I said, Buriram is a rather unremarkable town. So why do people come here? More specifically, why do men gravitate toward here. Most ex-pats in Thailand will know the answer. Many of their wives and girlfriends were born here in Isaan.
Buriram province forms the more visible signpost for Isaan, where a third of the kingdom's entire population of about 65 million resides. While Korat might be described as the entry to Isaan (image from Korat), Buriram province, a little farther eastward, represents Isaan in a more visible way because of the darker-skinned women who work all over the country in the bars, shops, malls and factories.
Buriram province is a part of a very poor region, rice farming providing sustenance living. As the rice season ends, farm workers and family members head to the cities to earn some money. Mostly that means women. Primarily, they "work in a restaurant." What that means is they end up in bars in the, uh, "personal service industry."
Many girls can earn a substantial income, which is far, far beyond anything they can earn back home. And they could live a pretty nice lifestyle, but nearly all the money goes back to the large family that they live to serve, which might include five to 20 people. It's also part of the culture that anyone who earns a good living, shares that with mama, papa, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunties.
Frequently, the Isaan girl in Bangkok, Phuket, Pattaya, Hua Hinh or any of the other tourist spots ends up as key, and probably sole, supporter. Cultural pressure dominates here. In order to fulfill her family obligations (and they are cultural obligations), she will willingly make sacrifices. She will live in a single, fan-room, maybe sharing with two other girls, who pay about 3,000 baht a month total. She will sleep on a floormat, maybe there will be a one-element cook stove, there will be holes in the screen, there's no fridge, there's one toilet/shower per floor. She will probably be in her late 20s or early 30s. Back home, she might have one daughter or son, which she probably gave birth to at age 18. The child will stay with the village family. The Thai father will have abandoned her or she will have tossed him out after yet another beating or whisky-filled weekend. There will probably be more than one whisky-drowned relative, living off the family. She may even have been abused or sexually assaulted when quite young.
On top of all that, it hardly seems possible how gentle and sweet many of these girls can be. Therein lies their appeal to foreigners. Men may come from afar to maybe find a wife (although it's never really that direct a plan -- it just happens). Yes, the farangs are seen as financial providers. But the girls -- who have been through a lot of hard living by the time they reach their late 20s and early 30s -- appreciate how well they are treated by these guys. And they are, no matter what western media stories and internet forums narrowly focus on, i.e., the bar girl shark or the alcoholic "old perv."
But their dark skin colour is an issue when it comes to access to education, jobs and a better future. The "white" Thai population looks down upon Isaan people. Therefore they will forever be farmers and labourers. For example, you will never see a billboard or TV ad with a dark-skinned model. Foreigners do not have the same tendency. Which probably makes Thais look down on them for going out with a "bar girl," (is always prostitute) an epithet for any dark-skinned girl.
Over the more than five months I've been in Thailand, I've talked to a number of women from Isaan, as well as other parts of northern Thailand. But most are from Isaan. The amazing thing is that they each shared very similar family circumstances and background. The common perception in the west is that they're "just" hookers and being victimized by western male tourists (a small but visible number of females also use their services). In fact, the Isaan women are vastly more victimized by the culture of their own country as the under-appreciated pillars of family life. Many a foreigner married to an Isaan lady will quickly agree.
[Note: Isaan is dominated by people of at least three major cultures, Isaan, Lao and Khmer (Cambodian).]
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stolidfatcat says:
To anyone reading this post – thai hookers are full of bullshit. It is extremely easy to get a job in Thailand if you are Thai and are not afraid of work. But I admit it is easier to lie on your back and just fuck people for cash, and then go bitch about your lousy life to everyone.
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The Siamese were descendants of the Khmer who adopted the Tai language. That's why to be a native Thai is to be a Khmer (aka Siamese of Thailand).
That's one of the reasons why Khmer women are so common as prostitutes in Thailand because Thailand is their native country since the Siamese are of Khmer stock and most Khmer (native Siamese) people are poor.
Another reason why Khmer prostitutes are the most common in Thailand is because they have dark skin, which old white farang men find attractive. Lao, Chinese, Hmong, and Viet women are no match for Khmer women as far as dark complexion is concerned.
So those Khmer prostitutes from Issan and Cambodia blend in well with their own Khmers of central Thailand known as the Siamese.
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It's already a known fact that Thai prostitutes in Thailand are primarily from the southern region of Isan where ethnic Khmers live such as Buri Ram, Khorat (Nakhon Ratchasima), and Surin.
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At the end of the day, Khmers are dark skinned and those prostitutes in Pattaya are also dark skinned and look Khmer because they are. Many came from Buri Ram and Surin in Issan.
They are not naturally dark skinned. those are lazy laoser farmer who've been in the sun too long. easier for laos to cross over to thailand than khmer, because of the language which show majority of prostitutes are lazy laoser.
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Guys there is no written in Thai law that Lao or Khmer is only allow to work as prostitute ,it just the job for a girls who need quick cash.Especially in this time that economic fall down....
Plus poverty in Isarn is such a serious issue down here ,every one are suffering from this problem.And lately chinese mainland from Yunnan also fly to Bangkok to tried their luck in the industry too. Any way many of them can speak Thai fluently.....
These are some things that we are not to pround off ,however Pattaya or Bangkok also got it bright side though. Its tourist choice to chose to see and experience either dark or bright.
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Another transvestite who calls herself O says it is easy to find sex in bars. "Most of the guys here don't have any hangups about having sex with another guy or even 'katoey' (a transvestite) like me," she adds.
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only uncivilized and uncultured laoser prostitute. since laoser are known for being lazy thats prostitute fits perfectly toward them. all they have to do is sit outside and wait for their customers. prostitution is easy for them they can just with their legs open all they.
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Stickman's guide to
Bangkok
Reader's Submissions:
Bar Girls
By Big G
It has been of great help to me when I was in Thailand last time. Despite reading many warnings I made a huge mistake and fell totally for a Thai girl. I'll try and be as brief as I can.
I met Fon, 19 years old about 3 weeks into my month in the LOS. She worked in a bar outside Nana Plaza. At this particular time I was feeling a little disillusioned with the whole scene. It was late morning and I went in and had a beer. We started talking and she seemed so different from the other girls I had met. I thought I had possibly met a genuinely nice girl.
It turned out that she had only been working in the bar for two weeks, having previously lived with her Grandfather in Chiang Mai. They had an argument about a Thai man he wanted her to marry. She ran away to Bangkok after arranging a flight with the help of a friend. Her friend also helped her find a shared apartment. She worked the early shift in the bar so as to fit in her schooling. It was made clear to me that she hardly ever goes with customers and that if she did it was only dinner and after she would make an excuse and leave. This was reinforced by what the other girls at the bar had told me. I believed this.
I paid bar after asking her about a Department Store (MBK). She said that she would take me as she had to get her mobile fixed. We had a meal and a few drinks and that was it. I was hooked. Her English was quite good and it was refreshing to actually have a conversation of more than a couple of sentences. I didn't look upon her as a prostitute but as a kind, gentle and caring girl. this was a big mistake.
I had paid bar for nearly a week and my holiday was nearing it's end. I was definitely not ready to leave and lose her so I extended my trip for another four weeks. I only paid bar for the first five or so days of meeting her. She knew I hated the thought of paying for her and said that when I leave for England she would go to stay with her Grandmother in Buriram. She hated working bar. That meant I did not have to pay the bar any more. I asked about her school as I did not want her work to suffer. I was assured that a transfer to a school in Buriram would not be a problem.
After being together for the rest of my time in Thailand it was time for me to leave. My money had all but ran out. Being my first time in Thailand I did not take always the cheapest option. It was so difficult saying goodbye at the airport but I promised to return. I had given her a time of about six or seven months. She said she would wait for me and we could phone and email each other regularly. I set up an email in Thailand and this seemed a great and inexpensive way to keep in contact. I said for her to be honest with me if she meets anyone and I would do the same. We are a long way apart and have to trust each other. I was worried about her getting bored in Buriram and going back to the bar. I was firmly told that this would not happen.
Upon my return to England I got a job and have been working the last six months, taking all the overtime I can and working every day some weeks so as to get back to her. We have been keeping in regular contact and I was told of her part-time job in a factory and how her school work was going. Two weeks ago I told her I had emailed details of the flight I had just paid for. She was so happy to know that I was coming back to her and would be arriving on 12 May.
I had mentioned previously to her that I would try and find a job to keep me in Thailand but she said that this would not be possible or that it would be very poorly paid. I looked further into this and agreed.
I would go and spend some time with her and see where we go from there. Several hints were dropped by her that if we couldn't be together in Thailand then it may be possible in England. This made me look at the visa requirements and go a step further than I was ready to go. But I loved her and thought that she was the one.
I had read many true stories on your site and others about Falang Thai relationships but they were so different to my situation. I have never sent her any money and she has never asked for any. She did not seem to be a hard-nosed and ruthless bar girl. Nor did she seem experienced in any way about the nightlife or know her way around. She had only ever had one proper boyfriend before me and to me she seemed the most genuine person you could ever wish to meet. On a couple of occasions I got a throat infection and was unwell. She was so kind and considerate. So different to the other girls I had met. Such a refreshing change.
But I could not get these stories of broken-hearted farangs out of my head. With just over four weeks to go I had an idea to be 100% sure about her. There were certain nagging doubts I wanted to put to rest.
I was able to access her hotmail. I knew the answer to her secret question, changed her password and I was in. I could not believe what I was seeing but it was all there. Two 'boyfriends' from America, one Swiss and another two from England. Including the messages I sent her there were photo's of her in various hotels where she had accompanied these men on there holidays. I read their messages and they were under the same impression as me. That they were the only one in her life. It took me over an hour to read these emails from men pouring out their hearts and declaring undying love for her. I realised everything had been a complete lie. Our time together in Thailand and our contact since is all bullshit. She has played me and them for fools. Now I know why quite often it was hard to phone her. She was with customers or one of her boyfriend's came to visit.
There was one man who had found her out and wanted money back from her. He was going to the Doctors ASAP to get checked out. Like him, I never used protection with her after believing her stories of only ever having one boyfriend. She assured me there was only one other time she had sex and had used condoms. This was bullshit. She could have had unprotected sex with hundreds of men before me. Everything was a lie.
I now of course know her other boyfriends emails and will take great pleasure in informing them just what sweet little Fon is really like. I will tell them the facts and then if they still want to send her money or visit her during their next time to Thailand it is up to them. I have deleted all my messages and sent her a final email and never want to see her again.
Thank you for the information. Without your site I would not have had as many doubts and definitely would not have investigated. I will now be coming to Thailand much wiser than before and should have a great time.
Kommentar Ingeniøren:
Dette er hva norske gutter / menn møter I Thailand.
Erfaringen som jeg har sittet med etter å gått gjennom en tilsvarede hendelse. Må jeg si til menn som tror at dette kan kontrolleres og du tror ikke din "truffende jente" oppfører seg slik.
Vel dette er feil nr 1. HVA GJØR DEG SÅ UNIK AT DU IKKE HAVNER OPP I SAMME HEKSEGRYTE?
I thailand har du null erfaring på hvordan ting gjøres. Og for at du skal forstå dette må du bruke god tid.
Jeg selv gjorde ikke det. Dette ente veldig dårlig. Men jeg fikk en erfaring som jeg deler nå med andre.
Thaidame er svært vanskelig å finne på barer eller utesteder. Rett og slett fordi her er det personer som tenker kun på å fikse seg selv.
Og alle metoder er lov til å benytte.
Jeg ønsker å spørre menn følgende:
-Hvis du hadde oppdaget at en Norsk dame hadde solgt seg til Naboen for 2000 kr. Ville du fortsatt være gift med henne ?
Jeg tror jeg kan svare selv. Og dette er at vi menn ønsker at kona, dame er KUN sammen med deg.
Dette kan du glemme med disse kvinnene. Du er kun en billett til et bedre liv for henne.
Hun skal sikre sin framtid.Og du er kun en person som hjelper henne ut av en "arbeidsituasjon" som hun selv har valgt.
Du kan tenke dette som en forfremmelse på hennes arbeidsplass.
- Fast ansatt med kost og losji
Nå tror jeg mange som er sammen med en slik kvinne hopper opp av stolen og sier " Nei ikke min dame".
Mitt svar på dette er:
- Sender du penger hjem til hennes familie ?
- Har du i løpet av denne tiden opplevet at noen er syk og du må sende penger?
- Har du måtte sende henne på ferie hjem til thailand, da etter press fra henne. Da som en form for trass. "Jeg savner familien ......."
- Forsøker hun på noen måter å skaffe penger til denne ferien selv?
- Din jente, kan hun Norsk eller virkelig har inntresse til å lære seg Norsk? Feks etter 2 år kan dere snakke noe Norsk sammen? Hvis ikke er dette noe som du bør være på vakt for.
- Har hun tatt del i jobb og sørger for hjemmets beste? Eller ønsker å få jobb for å hjelpe deg med regninger osv. – Hvis ikke hvorfor det ?
- Når din dame ønsker å besøke venner er dette bare hennes type folk (Isaan). Holder hun seg utelukkende til denne gruppen?
- Har dama din barn i thailand. Hva heter xmannen og hvor bor han? Bor han 2 hus lengre ned i gata fra "mor og Far" til jenta. DA er pengene som du sender til hennes xmann.
Når hun reiser på ferie er dette for å bruke til på sin andre mann.
Og du er så dum å tro at dette er savnet etter familien.
Savnet er etter noe helt annet.
Jeg tror at hvis du har følelsen av at hun ikke har den store inntressen for å stå på egene bein i ekteskapet. Vel da er det kun snakk om tid før du opplever det samme som denne karen ovenfor.
Bitterheten av å bli rundlurt vil sette seg utrolig lenge. Du slipper ett menneske inn på deg og har alle forsvar nede. Når da hun utnytter dette vel da har du en prostituert kone.
Hun arbeider for å få verdier ut fra deg. Og hvis hun bruker sex som et verktøy vel da er synet til disse kvinnene at dette er helt normalt.
Så mitt råd her er:
- Ønsker du en kone fra Thailand. Glem alle barer. Og vær på vakt med jente med Isaan bakgrunn.
Isaan kan du lett se med følgende kriterier:
- Manglende nesebein , kun nesetip. Men her kan hun ha fått satt inn nesebein.Plastisk kirurgi
- Bred i ansiktet
- Mørk i huden.
- Snakker tøft, sier ord som fuck, shit osv
- Har tatovering
- Går i svært utfordrende klær
- Drikker.
- Sitter halve tiden med mobiltelefon 2 cm unna. Da gjerne med telefonen i fanget under en middag med deg.
- Snakker Lao med sine venner.
- Ønsker å dra på karaokebar med sine venner og kan snakke med deg senere.(Her alle unnskyldninger i verden kommer opp for å få litt tid for seg selv.)
Virkeligheten er: Hun har en annen mann som venter. Hun holder deg varm mens hun tjener 2000 baht eller mer. Når hun er ferdig kommer hun tilbake for mer hos deg.
Mange kommer til å si dette er rasistisk. Men dette er fakta. Slike personer blir satt i bås i Thailand. Ingen normal thaimann vil bli sett dø sammen med en jente fra Isaan.
Alt jeg skriver her er direkte fra thai personer som sier dette direkte til meg. Jeg har kun referert hva de fleste Thaiene mener om disse kvinnene.
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