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tirsdag 18. juni 2013

Isaan Girls: Proceed with Caution

Avoiding the traps

Regardless of how you met an Isaan girl, you should still have the same attitude I always preach:  expect the worst until she PROVES differently.  You should figure that she has an angle and that she’s out for your money and would treat you the same as any other farang out there.  Let her show you little by little that none of that is true.  At some point as long as you stick to your guns you’re going to uncover the real situation and you can react accordingly.

1)      Don’t tell a girl that you’re looking to get married.  Once she thinks there is a good chance of marriage, she might just put on a show until you cross the finish line. 

2)      Do not send the girl a single baht when you are not with her.  If this means that she doesn’t want to be with you, then so be it.

3)      I think at some point you have to accept that it’s going to be hard to find a perfect situation.  I don’t like the idea of having to give a girl’s family any money, but I think if the girl is fantastic, 10,000 baht a month might be worth it to deal with her family.  The thing is you must make it clear that you are never to be asked for a single baht more than what you agree to initially pay.  Feel free to say, “I’m not rich” and “that is all I can afford.”  Thai’s are annoying to negotiate with, but you have to be tough.  You also have to realize that not every girl from Isaan is going to find a Western man, 
there’s just too many of them and not enough of us in the picture.  So if you’re offering any 

money to her family, it’s better than 0, which is what they might wind up with forever if you leave.  

You also shouldn’t even begin to discuss money until you’re already in a committed relationship with the girl. 

4)      Embrace the bluntness!  Girls from Isaan aren’t going to be the most refined or polished women you’re ever going to meet.  They are known to bring up topics of finances at very inappropriate times.    “You love me…oh tank you so much for you love me, and I love you too…how much you give my papa and mamma?”   I mean it’s not going to be 100% like that, but you get the idea.  If a girl says something like that to you, don’t get upset.  Instead realize the difference in her society’s manners, and explain it to her.  Too few guys do this.  Most guys are willing to conform to all of the Thailand rules so as not to offend anyone, but they don’t have the balls to tell their gf what they find offensive. 
 Tell her straight up, “It’s not nice to just start talking about money like that; I’m just starting to get 
to know you.  Ladies should not do that.”  Avoid the money talk for as long as you can by having the same  “how dare you” attitude if she brings it up.  If she’s a gold digging POS, she’s not going to tolerate this and she’ll threaten to leave.  This is how you know she’s not quality. 

5)      While you avoid the topics of money and marriage, it’s important to treat the girl 5X better than she’s ever been treated before, but not by spoiling her.  That is really the key: be nicer, more attentive, more charming, and more entertaining than she could have ever imagined any guy being.  But don’t spoil her at all.  If she has healthy priorities she will fall in love with the way you’re treating her.  She’ll respect you and she’ll realize that she can attain true love and happiness with you.  But if her priorities are a mess it won’t matter how well you treat her if you don’t buy her things and quickly commit to being a provider for her and her family.  This is probably the best way to really gauge the situation. 

There are guys out there who buy women from Isaan a house after a few dates and then get brushed off like dirt a few weeks later.  It really does happen, but those guys are a lost cause anyway.  So I just don’t see the point in listing horror story after horror story in which the guy should have known better.  I know that most people who find their way to this blog are at least somewhat informed, or trying to be informed.  For you I’m not worried about a quick scam trap from the wrong girl where you lose a lot of money.  But there are some gold diggers out there who will slow play things for as long as they need to before hitting you hard once you let your guard down.  Your wallet might not take a huge hit, but you can be left heart broken and distraught.  Being realistic, cautious, and patient will help immensely. 

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