I got a view from a thai that i feel need to be shared with more people.
What we discuss: (This is the case)
1 Million baht dowry!
Sorry guys but I need some advice about Thai dowry payments.
I am 51 and have been courting a 44 year old Thai lady for nearly 2 years.
Things have been going reasonably well for us and I think the world of this lady.
I last visited her in BKK in June this year and asked her to marry me and she accepted.
Wanting to abide by Thai customs I asked her to ask her family about the dowry they would want for me to marry her.
She said that she would ask this when she went home for her birthday in October as she had to ask her mother in person.
This week she has returned and the dowry sum is a cool sum of 1 million baht!!! (this includes: sinsod, thong mun and wedding).
It would be an understatement to say that I was shocked with this figure!
She is fully aware that I am not a rich guy and I thought that she understood this, but I am told that this figure is non-negotiable.
Is this for real? What are your experiences? Brief background: She lives in BKK but comes from the south, (Nakhon Si Thammarat).
She has never been married and has no children, has a college education and works as a sales & admin clerk for a small printing company in BKK, salary 12000 baht per month.
I earn just above UK average wage, (c£27Kpa), and have a very small amount of savings, dwindled by 2 visits in the last year to see her and associated spends on her room in BKK to make her place more comfortable, the place was a tip when I first saw it – full of broken old furniture.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated Many thanks Doug
This is how a Thai woman think about this case.
I have read about isan women..and saw one story on your web....about thai woman asked money for downry 1 million baht....
she is from south region......working in private company as a clerk,,,salary not much....not be counted as grate job in here ,,,
but asking high downry pretending same as she is from high socity.....sounds funny.....south region or bangkok women also can be con-women
if they are from poor family and concern only money but not real love in wedding................white guys...should be careful
which family ask million baht downry from man ....expected that their girls should have very good education master or doctoral degree in here or overseas,,
or come from high famous family which have done good own businesses, or being government official in high level, not temperary employee,,,,
if working in private company should have salary not less than 40,000 baht in here so the women will deserve to ask for downry in million baht........
if the girls not have any mentioned characteristics otherwise,,,,they are just looking to take advantage...for poor family
in addition, my suggestion for that man are;
1. ask the girl with her open mind that,,,does her family has their own house in debt???and how much totally monthly to pay morgate to bank or private??
2. do they have extra debt to pay..from loan ,,bank or out of bank system??? if they have out-of bank system debt with any powerful people or private company..that must be cruel for the white guy in future......cos interest is so highhhhhhhhh as it is illegal way..but people do.......borrowed money 500,000 baht ....they might need to pay back 1 million baht for example.
3.ask thai south area woman how much really she expects him to pay her family after marry else??
4. the money 1 million is going to whose hands finally and for what purposes that they are going to use for??
5. the condo of 44 years thai south woman is rent or she buy???
how much she pay montly??
as she working as a normal clerk in private company which counted as very unstable, different from government sector......
she is working without social welfare for herself, parents, her kids and her spouse,,,
if somebody in family got hard illness just one time in one month, then all saraly will be gone also not enough..
if she put some money from her saraly to government health fund monthly then she will get lesser salary (salary deduction) and get benefits just for herself but nobodyelse, then 12,000 baht salary from private company is nothing for thai people...
cos at least 1,000 baht must be deducted for workers health fund...not cover all same as government section....
she has no offered house from company same as military, police, local government officials' residences (houses).....or no benefits project form workplace to buy house in lowest interest same as government do......so i think this woman will be so poor if working in private with 12,000 baht salary.....
u can imagine for this 12,000 baht woman who is working in private section,,,has trouble life very much ...as follows;
- 1,000 baht deducted from salary as diposited in compulsary worker health fund..just in case she is injured...not for her family or parents
- 4,000-5000 baht for condo rent or bank morgate if she buy (poor condo,,not expensive)
-electric bill 1,000-2,000 baht depend on using air condition, central condo expense arond 400 - 800 baht in general
- travelling fee...on bus, van, etc for working...about 3,000 - 4,000 baht monthly
- telephone bill , internet bill...(have to do because lover is in abroad) 2,000 - 3,000 baht
- u seeeeeeeee, now all money finished ,,,every month,,,who is giving her for breakfast, lunch, dinner??? which money for buying food, house products and costmetics...which money will give or support her family???
that is the reason why she and her family need 1 million baht downry hehehe
if the white guy knows every detail and has willing to support her for long....can accept after marry problem..........and really sure that she loves him......then he can make decision easier for his million baht downry....that she deserves or not....then he can love with using his brain too
...............for your information
In my mind, many of thai woman is using the old tradition Sin Sod.
"The meaning" to do something beautiful for her family. But make it to something that never was the idea about sin sod.
This is a way to "Suck blood" from a western man. Why ? -> So her dream can be realized.
And if she not can work by herself to get her dream.
Then she need to use other way.
So when many say " Buy woman" about thai woman what do they mean ?
Well make your own idea and get some more information about this.
I think now many Thai woman, get this mark from wrong reasons, because of conwoman.
This "woman" never mean to be married for a long time. Just long enough to get her "wish come through."
And who are the victim -> Men that really want a different life. And belive that because it is possible to "get" a wife,
That is Thai. Then family life will be better then with western woman.
They will after a while see this:
- Payment to family
- Payment for hospital bill
- New house in Thailand
- Car in Thailand
- And so on
How can you prevent this for happening.
Well ask you this.
Has you girl asked for something of this. Is she working? Why not?
Do she ever think about your need for pay bills? Or is it just her need that should come first?
If you have a view that you are being used. Well then your girl is also a conwoman.
Love should not come from money. And that you make a payment to make her happy.
Many Thai woman has come to Norway, in many case it is conwoman.
I want to point out for the readers this.
Rules for Sin sod:
Even though some Westerners object to the concept of dowry, many simply disagree with the amount payable.
The amount of dowry paid usually depends on the social status of the family and/or the level of education of the bride or her income alternatively both.
A) A dowry of a million baht for an uneducated woman is unheard of.
B) A Dowry for an average middle class educated Thai would normally be in the region of 100,000 Baht.
C)This varies as an example, should the bride be a divorcee or a ''Mia Maiy' - a spoiled/ruined wife, normally no dowry is paid.
D)If she has a child or children from a former marriage or relationship no dowry is paid either.
As an example
When a Thai man marries a woman he would generally move into the family home.
It would then become his responsibility to manage his in-laws business be it a farm or a store.
He would also be tasked with taking care of her family members and anyone related to her family.
Should he fall into financial difficulty her family would then support him.
The concept of dowry or sin sod even though alien to Westerners shows how closely knit Thai's are compared to Westerners who are more individual in deed and thought.
What is normal in the West such as "old age homes" or old age pensions are not standard in Thailand.
Children take care of the family during their retirement years. The dowry is therefore important in Thai culture.
In Thailand inheritance of the family home and family land is generally through the female children.
Dowry however is not linked to it directly.
The husband of the daughter in the family would therefore reap the any benefit of all that might have been achieved by his wife's parents.
Unfortunately being a foreigner you don't benefit from the equation.
Firstly a foreigner cannot own land or a house in Thailand in his name.
(Consult a reputable law firm to discuss your options).
It is the lack of benefit that most foreigners object to paying dowry.
Read more down below in this blog.